Week 241 Update

It’s Christmas Eve, and we are driving down to my Mom’s house for the Christmas holidays. Where better to spend the “most wonderful day of the year”?

I am reading the book, The War on Christmas, and it documents a lot of what is going on right now, as a very tiny group is fighting hard to destroy this holiday. Most of what the author is talking about I have been concerned with for years. It is my favorite time of year and I am saddened by the efforts of a very small few (a recent poll said that 96% of Americans celebrate Christmas, as Christmas, in one form or another) to take one of the most wonderful American traditions away from us, and turn it into some generic ambiguous holiday. It is nearly impossible to find a major store any longer that will put the word Christmas anywhere in its advertising or its decorations. Since nearly everyone in America celebrates Christmas, one is left to wonder who could possibly be offended by it? It is part of America. More people like it and celebrate it than do the number of people who like apple pie and baseball--two things that are often used to denote the most American of traditions. The absurdity of this situation should make all Americans wake up and smell the coffee. But unfortunately, I expect them to follow their 40 year old trend and swallow this bitter pill too. Alas, I fear that most of them have already swallowed it.

On a bright note, the owner of the Chevron gas station, where I usually buy gas, has a big sign out that says, "Merry Christmas" on it. You can be sure that I will continue to be their faithful customer from now on! (If Americans refused to patronize stores that didn’t put Christmas in the most prominent spot in their advertising this problem would go away immediately.)

This having been said, I will not them spoil my celebration of this very American holiday! The Christmas music is playing, and the thrill is in the air. The memories of Christmas past are fresh and alive.

Mom and Dad used to take me to downtown San Bernardino where we could do our Christmas shopping each year. JC Penneys had its windows fairly overflowing with Christmas in its displays. There were animated characters--elves, Santa, ice skaters, and so many more—that attached my young face to the window in awe. Above me, hanging from the street lights were large silver bells, and, just like in the old Christmas song of the same name, there were “people shopping, people stopping, meeting smile after smile.” There were no indoor shopping malls at the time, so the star filled sky, and the crisp Christmas air added a reminder that the winter solstice was upon us, and it was time for Santa’s big ride.

When we got home there was the tree standing in our small living room. It filled the room, and the entire house, with the smell of pine. The bright colored balls, and the tinsel were happy reminders that very happy events were afoot. For days, I would look at the presents beneath that tree, and wait in eager anticipation of the magical time when I could open mine up.

One Christmas, my Dad was working the “eve shift,” and that left Mom and me alone with the radio playing Christmas songs, one right after the other, all evening. I helped her bake all sorts of Christmas cookies. We visited and laughed, and I still treasure that memory.

I am sure that you have your own set of Christmas memories, and I hope that you will have a very Merry Christmas this year as well!

Another festive part of this season is Dotti’s phenomenal progress on her journey. Each day she remains on track, and each week the scale shows it. This week she maintained at 200.5 pounds, in spite of all the holiday distractions. She is eating right and exercising often. Ever since mid September, she has never had a bad week, or even a bad day on her program.

This time around, things are very different. We are 8 years older than when Dotti started her journey in 1997. There are a great many differences in her physical constitution. The rheumatoid arthritis has slowed things down a bit. She can’t exercise at the same intensity level that she did before. She is going through the changes that happen when a woman approaches 50. She is no longer getting the metabolically boost that smoking generates (at such a terrible cost). But in some ways she is actually doing better this time!

Dotti is not in a rush. She would like to see the weight come off 2 and 3 pounds a week, but she is not trying to force that. Instead, she is just working the program, day after day, and taking what comes from doing that. The scale drops consistently, and at a very healthy pace. When she finally reaches goal, she will be all set to remain there, because she won’t have to change much of anything in her life. She will already be comfortable doing the things that will keep her at goal.

The way I looked at it, I didn’t finish smoking until I was a non-smoker who weighed the same as I had been when I was a smoker. When my weight fell back down into the 190s, I finally felt like I had finished “quitting smoking.” By that standard, Dotti is now in her final stages of quitting. She has not had a cigarette, or even wanted one, for over 3.5 years. She struggled with her weight as a result, right up until September, when the hypnosis CDs helped her get right back on track. Now, Dotti is a non-smoker! And Dotti is moving right back down to goal! She still has just over 50 pounds to go, but I have no doubt that she is right on track to lose that.

The best part of all, at least to me, is that Dotti is not struggling on her journey. It is not a burden, and she doesn’t feel deprived. It is a comfortable, pleasant walk that she is taking to Goalville! She is getting close to “One-derland” and that will not be long arriving. That will be a big mile marker to pass.

I am so very proud of Dotti!

You can continue to follow her progress at her Dotti's Return to Goal page.

Back to my journey...as far as the scale went, this week was pretty bad. Until today, I didn’t spend any time in my target range. The only upside was that I didn’t weigh more than my personal goal of 190 on any daily weigh-in. (The last good week I have had, where all my daily weigh-ins were within my target range was the week ending on November 5. Since then I have been struggling.)

Still, I am plodding forward, continuing to try to stay the course.

Saturday - I weighed in at 188.0 pounds.

This is a big deal in one sense, and not so big in another. On the one hand, I went for several years without ever once having a weekly weigh-in over 187.0 pounds, the top of my target range. I struggled, and fought with myself on some weeks to make that happen. On other weeks it was a “cake walk” where there was no struggling at all. In fact most of the weeks fell into the latter category.

All at once, as I approached my fourth anniversary of being at goal, I found the scale starting to creep up. My average number of points-per-day was not on the rise, but my weight was. In that way, it was not a case of my losing my focus and starting to overeat. It was more curious than anything else on that score.

The fact that I had broken my chain of consecutive weekly weigh-ins at or below 187.0 pounds, was a big deal to me. The fact that I had not started eating more to cause the problem made the “transgression” appear less egregious in my mind.

Perhaps the bigger deal was the fact that I didn’t care enough to stop the process. I could have lowered my points enough to pull the scale back down. Instead, I just went about my business. I lowered my total points, but I didn’t go into “damage control” mode. I could have changed my eating in a way that would have halted the increase. But, I didn’t choose to.

A case in point is this very day. I weighed-in at 188.0 pounds. That was definitely too high, because it was out of my target range. Where was the rock solid resolve to remain on track?

I had once told Dotti, “When I am up on the scale, there are no red-light foods.” When I was up on the scale at the point in my journey when I said that, I literally was not tempted at all to eat anything high in points. In fact, the higher the points in any given food, the more were the negative feelings that I would have towards it, no matter how much I normally would have craved that food.

Saturday, I was up on the scale, but I still agreed to go with Dotti and LeRoy to a Mexican food restaurant, knowing that I cannot ever eat light in one of those places. I always have a high-point day when I eat there. Always! But I went anyway. I ended up eating 32.0 points in that one meal alone. By the end of the day, I had consumed 51.0 points.

Something has definitely changed. Does four years at goal make you complacent? Am I forgetting how much I hated being overweight? I don’t know, but the change is real. The question is, are we looking at major problem that will trip me up, or is it something that I will be able to just work through and get back on track?

We foolishly attempted to go out to the mall and a couple of other places, but the crowds were pretty intense. (Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Shoppers in the way…) However, we did make it to Costco and it wasn’t all that bad there. It was busy but not painful. J

In the evening we sat down in LeRoy’s living room, with a nice fire in the fireplace, and watched, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” That is an old family tradition that we have for Christmas time. It was a real treat to be able to do that with LeRoy this year!

Sunday - I weighed 189.5 pounds.

We had a nice “Christmas meal” for lunch with LeRoy. Dotti cooked up some steaks and other goodies. I did better on my points though, because Dotti is a lot better about providing a points-friendly meal than the restaurant was.

The visit with LeRoy had been a very pleasant one, and when we said our goodbyes, it was nearly painless, because we knew that we would be seeing him again in just a few days, when he came down to join us for the trip to Grandma’s house.

The sun was out in force when we pulled out onto the freeway, and Dotti was scrambling to get her sunglasses on. The sun was actually painful to the eyes, after many days of overcast skies.

The sun stayed out for about an hour, but halfway home, there appeared to the south a large black bank of clouds. They were moving north at a rapid pace and we were rushing south to meet them. The temperature was around 32º, and the stage was set for some interesting weather.

We pulled in under the clouds in just a few minutes and before long we were being hit will large drops of rain. Soon, the thermometer dropped below 32º, and the rain turned to damp heavy snow. The temperature continued to drop, and soon we were in the 20s. All at once the wipers started to squeal, because the snow was now completely frozen, and it was not sticking to the windshield at all, but merely bouncing off. The road had started to get coated up with an icy layer, and all at once, up ahead, a small pickup truck spun out of the fast lane and into the median. Fortunately, for all concerned, he left traffic without causing anyone else to lose control. There was no contact with any other car, and the truck ended up on a small but steep, snow dusted grassy hill. The driver appeared to be uninjured, and his truck seemed no worse for wear. (I was skeptical that he would be able to drive out of his predicament however. He probably would need a tow assist to get back on the icy road.)

Fortunately, we had studded tires on our car, and that helped get us home safely. We took a back road part of the way, and it was nearly solid ice by the time we got there. Everyone was driving sanely at that point, and we didn’t see any more accidents.

I ate light in the evening and ended up consuming a total of 39.0 points for the day.

Monday - I weighed 188.0 pounds.

There was hope that work would be canceled on Monday, because the weather had been predicted to be terrible. However, the weather is way too complicated for mere man or computer to predict what it’s going to do, at least with any certainty of being correct, and the weatherman was wrong. The warm air moved in a day earlier than expected and the roads were nearly ice free when I drove in for work.

I ate my normal breakfast and lunch, and had a light dinner in the evening. I finished the day with 34.5 points.

Tuesday - I weighed 188.5 pounds. My morning routine was disrupted and I ended up not taking my lunch with me to work. So, I had to come up with something to fill the gap. I drove over to a nearby supermarket and tried out their deli counter. They made up a turkey sandwich for me that was excellent. I counted it as 10.0 points because it was a little more loaded than my normal Subway sandwich is. But it was worth it: excellent sandwich!

In the evening Dotti cooked up a nice light dinner, that included a black bean burger. I was quite full and the whole meal only came to 5.0 points. For the day, I ate 37.5 points.

Wednesday - I weighed 188.0 pounds. It was a great lunch on Wednesday. Dotti came out to share it with me. We stopped by Costco and had a Very Berry Sundae (6.0 points) and I had my normal lunch as well, but it tasted so much better than usual because Dotti was there in the car with me when I ate it. J

At the end of the day I had eaten 40.5 points.

Thursday - I weighed 188.0 pounds. Christmas was getting closer, and this was the last day before LeRoy was coming down, and we were going to begin our holiday events.

At work I ended up troubleshooting a problem that my customer said had been a nagging one for a couple of years. I found a faulty cable that was supposed to be delivering high voltage, but it was attenuating the energy along the way. I think it may have had a break in it, but the voltage was high enough to arc over the break. So, some of it was used up in heat at the break, and the rest came through. It was just enough loss to foul up the beam steering on certain beams. Anyway, I put a new a cable on order and hopefully that will put that old problem to rest.

For eating, I snacked in the car a bit more than usual, with the heavy traffic I dealt with on the drive home. That helped to push me up to 41.5 points at the end of the day.

Friday - I weighed 188.5 pounds. I was getting pretty tired of seeing that high number on the scale every day this week, and so I made sure that I ate very little on Friday.

It was going to be my last normal working day until January 3rd, when my company’s holiday schedule would end.

Unfortunately, what could be a really cool thing is partly ruined for me every year. We get 6 working days off as holidays between and around Christmas and New Years. Two of the holidays that we get off are naturally Christmas itself, and New Year’s Day. But the other 4 are holidays that we have to give up throughout the year, in order to have them off at this time, and all in a row.

However, the whole scheme falls apart for me. Repeatedly, I end up with pager coverage for 5 of the 10 days off (6 holidays, and 4 weekend days). I would rather have gotten the time off during the year. A 3 day weekend would be nice now and then.

Anyway, there are 5 free days coming up and I am ready for them.

I had a quiet day at work, and the drive home was surprisingly light. Perhaps the Ebenezer Scrooges of the world took a break this year and let their people off early for the Christmas weekend. J

I ate light for dinner and only consumed 25.0 points for the day, and that helped move the scale down to 186.5 this morning.

How do I rate this week? A struggle. I started off high on the scale, and remained there all week until today.

Eating – Last Saturday I was a little high on my points, but other than that, I was right on track all week. I ended up averaging 37.00 points-per-day, and that is very good, or at least it has been for several years. (My average points for my entire journey to date are 42.3 points-per-day. I ate 5 points less than that per day for this week.)

Weight – I averaged 188.14 pounds this week. I am at a loss to explain what the scale is doing these days. I am eating less and weighing more. Even before I started my walking campaign, I was eating more than I am now with far better results on the scale.

Life is filled with change, and so, I must adjust. Part of the adjustment is mental, because I have been so set in my ways over the last few years of maintenance. I have a system that has worked for all this time, and now it appears to suddenly have become defective. My first step to recovery is to accept that fact. I still haven’t done that I fear.

The other part of my needed adjustment is physical. I will have to change what I am eating, if I intend to bring the scale back down into my target range.

Water – Excellent! It is nice to have something going right, when other things are crumbling a bit. I drank at least 6 cups everyday this week, and I averaged 10 cups (80.0 oz.) per day!

Exercise – Zip! My physical ailments, and mental attitude have ganged up on me this winter. When I should be getting lots of walking in, I am doing none. Motivation is lacking and I will have to work on building some.

For a little sunshine: Today I weighed 53 pounds less than I did before I started my journey. I am struggling to hold the line at a point that is well below the upper limit of my Normal Range (200 pounds), and right at my personal goal of 190 pounds.

I am happy with where I am today. Because I have a weight issue; I will forever have to struggle with it. So, the struggle is a given, a simple fact of life.

What is not a given, is where that struggle will take place. I have chosen to move the struggle onto my "opponent’s ground." I can never utterly defeat him, but I can continue the fight as a campaign of consolidation of my conquest of my healthy range of weight. Today I stand below my goal weight, and the 53 pounds that I have lost are no longer my burden to carry with me day after day. Yes, I still have to pay attention to what I am eating. Yes, I still have to weigh-in. Yes, I still have to journal everyday. But here I am, at goal, and if that isn’t worth a smile, then what is?

The battle continues, and while I will suffer some defeats in skirmishes with the scale, the war will never be lost as long as I continue to fight. For 1688 days I have been focused on being On Program, and because of my efforts, all my daily weigh-ins, including the first ones in the 230s, now have an average weight of 188.0 pounds. My average weight for my entire journey has fallen below my personal goal weight of 190.0 pounds, and remained there since Halloween of 2003.

So, while I am not happy with the way the scale has been acting lately, I am overjoyed with my journey, and what it has done for me. It truly does feel like Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

4 years, 227 days OP; a lifetime to follow.

-Al-

6 '3" 239.5/186.5/180±2/BMI:23.31/WK-241

GRAPHS:

Weight Loss Maintenance Year 1 Maintenance Year 2 Maintenance Year 3 Maintenance Year 4 Maintenance Year 5 2005 Walking Data

2004 Walking Data