Week 230 Update

It was 05:55, and 49° when I stepped on Mr. Scale, and he said, "185.0 pounds!" That was my lowest weight all week. J Things have been really interesting around our house of late, and Dotti's journey is at the heart of it!

Every day that passes by, I am more amazed to see the results of the Enjoying Weight Loss CDs in Dotti's Journey. She has been under her point limit EVERY SINGLE DAY since she started. She now drinks water again, instead of diet soda. Most importantly in my opinion is her powerful, unbending, positive attitude towards her program, and her unwavering confidence in what she is going to do each on her program.

Hypnosis does not give you a "magic bullet" where you don't have to do anything and suddenly the pounds just disappear. But its results are still really cool!

After Dotti quit smoking, the wheels came off the wagon on Dotti's journey. She consciously wanted to work the program, and struggled with all of her might to make it work. Unfortunately, something below the surface was fighting against her. It was like a boat with two propellers and two different engines driving them. One prop, her conscious mind, would start to push her forward, and then for some reason, the other prop, her unconscious mind, would start to turn in the opposite direction. She would go in circles and make no progress, even going in the wrong direction completely at times.

When Dotti sat down and listened to the Enjoying Weight Loss CDs, immediately the second engine started turning in the same direction as the first one did. (At times it almost seems like it is even driving harder than the first engine! )

With both propellers turning the same way, the rudder is completely in Dotti's hands and she can use all that she knows about eating right and drinking water to full advantage. It has taken the emotional roller coaster part of it out of the picture, and she can just logically make the right choices. Instead of the sabotaging enemy her subconscious mind had become, it is now her ally -- her supportive partner in her journey. For over 3 weeks now, she has been effortlessly moving ahead, passing through each day, with the most difficult part in her journey being: making sure that she eats enough food to bring her point level up high enough to be in her proper eating range. That is not an exaggeration!

I have no idea how long it will take Dotti to move to her goal weight (She did lose another 2 pounds this week!) , but I have no doubt whatsoever that she will be there, and something even more important: I have no doubt that she will stay there once she gets to her goal weight. When your mind, your entire mind, is onboard with your program you can't be pushed off your path. The physiological quirks your body will force you to work around (slow losing, plateaus, etc.) will not be magically erased, but you will not be tempted to give up, or leave your program simply because things slow down for awhile.

The Little Engine That Could didn't scurry up the mountain at breakneck speed, but he did make it to the top! The tortoise didn't set any track records as he move through his race with the hare, but he crossed the finished line. (The hare didn't lose because he was slow, but because he stopped!)

If you want to see how Dotti is doing, just visit her Dotti's Return to Goal Page, where she is documenting her new journey back.

I am feeling a lot of very positive emotions as I am writing this. I am proud of Dotti for her tenacious refusal to give up over the last few years, even though she was struggling terribly. I am excited by the positive atmosphere surrounding Dotti today, as she radiates confidence and enthusiasm about her journey. (It is so nice seeing that come back after a long absence!) I am overjoyed to see Dotti smiling so much now, and watching her easily leaping over obstacles in her path that would have completely tripped her up only a few weeks ago. All I can say is, "WOW!"

I feel so happy about how Dotti is doing, I feel like my own journey is a little drab. But, I will press on, even in the face of fair winds, and good fortune. J

Here's my week in review:

Saturday - I weighed-in at 187.0 pounds. I was up at 05:15, because I knew I had to follow up on the part a customer had ordered on Friday night, when the pager had gone off. I got all of that taken care of and I was hoping that the pager would remain quiet for the rest of the weekend. It did, at least for the rest of Saturday. J

I did my journey write up and then turned to my latest article for the DWLZ E-Letter. It filled up a lot of my day and I was nowhere near done with it as the sun set and the evening passed by. Dotti and I both spent a lot of time on the computer all day long.

I did do some snacking along the way, and I ended up eating 47.5 points for the day. That was my highest total for any day this week.

Sunday - I weighed 186.0 pounds, when I got up at 06:25.

It turned out to be another computer centered day.

Side note: Over the last 2 or 3 months, other than the time spent in transferring our old VCR "home video" tapes over to DVD (most of which I am not watching, but just setting up the record cycle and letting them run with the television off), I have only spent about 2 hours total TV time watching a few old television shows we have on DVD. (For example, Bewitched, the first couple of episodes.) I have just about completed the divorce between myself and the television and I am really happy about the separation. The most amazing thing to me now, is that I ever had the time to waste that I did on that useless (it is actually far worse than that, but I won't get into that just now J) device. I am continually involved with doing something these days, and I don't have half enough time to get things done that I want to.

Time was getting short, and I have to finish up the E-Letter. We found out that LeRoy would be coming down the next weekend, so I really had to get going on meeting my deadline. While Dotti was getting her Comeback Page set up, I continued with writing my article.

In between the work we were doing for DWLZ, I had the pager go off again. It seems that the customer who had ordered a part on Friday night, had discovered that he had another problem on Sunday morning after the other part had been installed. So, he needed yet another part to solve the second problem. I put that part on order for him, after working through a few difficulties associated with locating one.

As the day progressed I ate my three meals (22.5 points) and did some snacking (17.0 points) and accumulated a total of 39.5 points for the day.

The weekend felt like it was gone before it had started.

Monday - I woke up with the alarm at 05:30, and I weighed 186.5 pounds.

It was a PM (Preventive Maintenance) day at work, where we tore a machine apart, cleaned it up, replaced worn parts, and then put it all back together again. I had to rewire a compressor that was being put on the machine, and then joined the others in simulating the "scrubby little bubbles" I seem to recall from an old commercial. (Do those things ever leave your memory once implanted there?) We ended up working a hour late, but the machine was all closed up, and it was pumping down in high vacuum when we left.

I was very tired by the time I made it home, but Dotti and I went to Sweet Tomatoes, and it was a very pleasant and delicious meal, accompanied by some excellent classical music in the background. Along with my beautiful dinner companion, it just couldn't have been any better. J

Dotti had driven me to the restaurant, showing off her "new ability," after her shoulder had recovered enough from her surgery to allow it, finally. She was still favoring her right arm, and letting her left do most of the work, but she did well!

By the end of the day, I had eaten 44.5 points, which was my second highest total for the week.

Tuesday - The alarm brought me out of my slumbers one more time, and I weighed 186.5 pounds again.

At work the PM continued, as we finished up the machine check out and other odds and ends. Unfortunately, we got close to the end of the day, we found a vacuum leak, and had to repair it. It turned out that we went home an hour late once more, but the PM was completed.

Dotti had cooked some of her tortellini soup, and it was delicious. Along with a bagel, the entire meal was only 6.0 points!

My energy level was really down for the evening and I was quite ready for bed when 10 PM rolled around. I had only eaten 34.0 points for the day.

Wednesday - I weighed 186.5 pounds once more. I headed off to work, after wishing Dotti a Happy Birthday. We were busy at work, but it wasn't as bad as the previous two days. And it is nice to see the workday go by quickly, as it always does when things are busy.

At lunch I finally got out there and did a 2.0-mile walk. The temperature was a pleasant 61º, and I wore a light windbreaker. I could tell that I hadn't been walking in a while, and I had to take it easy, but it was nice.

When I got home, Dotti said she would like to go to subway for dinner. (She is so on program these days, that even on her birthday she was eager to eat at a very OP place!) After that we went to a department store to browse. We ran into some old friends of ours there, whom we had known from the mixed bowling league that we bowled in together a few years ago, and we visited with them for a while. We picked up a little something for Dotti's birthday, and then headed home.

By day's end, I had eaten 34.5 points.

Thursday - As had been the case all week long, I woke up to the alarm. That let's me know that I am tired, because when I am well rested, I usually wake up before the alarm goes off. I weighed 187.0 pounds. I was not very worried about it, since I knew that I wasn't overeating.

I got to work just early enough to get in a 3-mile walk. It was 54º, and I wore my heavy coat. I had to take it off towards the end of my walk, but I was fairly comfortable with it on for most of the way.

We had a few issues to take care of in the morning and soon it was lunchtime. I went out and did another walk. This time it was 64º and it looked like it could possibly rain. So, I wore my raincoat just in case. I finished the loop and it added up to a 3.57-mile walk.

In the evening Dotti gave me some more of her delicious tortellini soup, along with some other goodies. By the end of the day, I had eaten 40.5 points.

Friday - I weighed 187.0 pounds. That meant that I would have to take it easy, so my weigh-in would not go any higher on Saturday.

I didn't do any walking for the day. On my drive in, I passed by a very bad multi-car accident, and it had backed up traffic pretty badly, causing me to arrive later than I would have otherwise. So, I didn't have time for a morning walk. In the afternoon, we got out late for lunch, and I decided to skip the walk for today and just ate my meal.

When I got home, I decided to go with a light dinner (6.0 points) and didn't do much snacking. By the end of the day, I had eaten 35.0 points, leading to my weigh-in of 185.0 pounds this morning.

How do I rate this week? Good, but with plenty of room for improvement.

Eating – I averaged 39.29 points-per-day, staying below 40 points-per-day for the third week in a row. I certainly was not overeating this week!

Weight – All week long, with the exception of today, I remained between 186.0 and 187.0. I am not sure why I sat at the top of my range, even when I was eating so low, but that is maintenance for you. This is why I weigh every day. It lets me know when things are acting funny and allows me to compensate for them.

Water – I drank at least 5 cups every day, missing my goal on a couple of days. However, I averaged 53.71 ounces (6.7 cups) per day. That is over my goal, and I am happy with that.

Exercise – Once again, this is my weakest link. I did at least get out there, and 8.75 miles is at least something. J Hopefully this next week I can do even better.

Another week is completed, bringing my total to 230 consecutive weeks of being OP. For years I had struggled to reach 200 pounds or lower. It seemed like such a difficult goal that I never spent much time thinking about my personal goal of 190. I do remember the last time I "went on diet," towards the end of 1995, where I used exercise, and low calorie eating, to force my weight down. I still can remember the very positive feelings that I had about myself during that brief excursion. (I had a similar "run at it" at the end of 1991, with nearly identical results.)

However, even then I never even got down to 190, and I didn't stay down very long. The most depressing part of all was the fact that right after I had gone through all that effort, and started to feel good about myself, my weight then climbed right back up as fast as it had gone down, and I was helpless to do anything about it. Like a man who has just lost his last fingertip grip on the top of a ledge at the top of a long drop, there seemed to be nothing at all I could do about it, other than scream. I was filled with a helpless feeling that was overpowering. I was left with nothing but a wall of denial that I quickly built up as mental protection, because I could neither halt, nor even face, the inevitable fall into the abyss.

Today, I have been lighter than 200 pounds for over 4 years, and I am even 15 pounds lighter than that weight that seemed so far away 10 years ago. I have remained below 190 pounds for all my daily weigh-ins for nearly 4 years; a weight that was nothing but an impossible dream for decades. I have been fundamentally changed, so that my habits of today lead me to maintenance, rather than towards obesity. My Mental Autopilot has been so completely altered that he is actually my friend rather than my enemy today.

Once an "inner guide" had been given over to the Dark Side of out of control eating and weight gain, as was the case with mine before I started this journey, he can always revert to his old and evil ways; pulling me out of my target weight range, and sending me back into my old scale nightmare. It will require "eternal vigilance" to keep that from happening, and I have only just gotten started on that course. But I am so happy that I am where I am today, and that my need is to continue what I am presently doing, rather than having to radically alter what I am doing once more in order to get back to goal.

I think that it is important to note that this is not the feeling of someone who is over confident, because I have seen myself stumble in the past so many times. I am feeling joy at my good fortune, not conceit in my own accomplishment. It sometimes may appear to be a fine line between those two positions, but for me it is an infinitely tall, impenetrable wall that stands between them. Falling into mischief on this journey is always easy, and holding the course always takes effort. So, while I am happy with how things have turned out so far, I am still prepared to do battle with the my own human frailties as they present an army of negative influences.

I will continue to strive for improvement, and have no misguided aims in ever achieving, or even striving for, perfection.

4 years, 150 days OP; a lifetime to follow.

-Al-

6 '3" 239.5/187.0/180±2/BMI:23.37/WK-230

GRAPHS:

Weight Loss Maintenance Year 1 Maintenance Year 2 Maintenance Year 3 Maintenance Year 4 2005 Walking 2005 Walking Data

2004 Walking Data