Thursday - Day Five (10)
Weight: 211

Five days ago I smoked 4 cigarettes. Those are the only ones I have had in the last 10 days. The look that LeRoy gave me when he walked out of Radio Shack and saw me smoking the first one was pitiful. Dot got upset when I got home, but LeRoy never said a word. But his look spoke volumes. He was sad, surprised, and disappointed.

October 19, thirteen days ago, I started this latest venture into the realm of non-smoking. It has been a bumpy path and this is only my 5th consecutive day of non-smoking. In one way, it’s my 14th day of this QUIT. But since I smoked over 2 packs total that first Saturday, Sunday and Monday, I feel that was a serious collapse. Therefore, I am forced to move up to the 23rd of October from my actual “quit” date. The one slip I had was only 4 cigarettes (“NOW” brand-low nicotine level) and I went right back to non-smoking after those four smokes. So, I fell down but I got right back up!

Friday – Day Six (11)
Weight: 210

Today I had a rough time with my run. I ran 2 miles and then ended up walking and running the last 1.5 miles. I was tired. My legs felt heavy and sore. I don’t know. It was fust a down day. My times ended up being farily good anyway. So, I guess I can’t complain too much.

At work I had a couple Bot-O-Honey candy bars and a couple of cups of hot cocoa. I have a gnawing hole in my stomach throughout the day. It isn’t a desire for a cigarette exactly. It is a craving however. Oral gratification and a sweet tooth camor for attetion. I remember my younger days, when I put on 20 lbs. And then 30 pounds in no time at all, after high school. I am going to have to rely on exercise and keeping busy to avoid that pitfall again. I have already put on 14 pounds. Hopefully, I can stop it here and start working it back down.

Another instructor found out that he was going to have to teach another class on Monday, and so he needed me to take his class over tonight after the lunch break, so he could prepare. I was scheduled to take the class over on Monday anyway, so this was not a big deal. I put problems into the equipment and the students troubleshot to find them. My biggest challenge was to stay out of their way so they could troubleshoot without assistance. They did well and finished up early.

When I got home, Dot and LeRoy were watching an Alfred Hitchcock marathon, and so I joined them until nearly midnight.

Saturday - Day Seven (12)
Weight: 210

I had a dream last night, or early this morning. In the dream I had a cigarette. I remember trying not to inhale it too much but I was getting a nicotine buzz anyway. I was upset with myself because I would have to start over again. Fortunately, when I awoke, I had not really smoked at all.

Things have been much easier for me quitting this time around. My mental set was much better, and it still is. Having Amsterdam as a motivating symbol has helped. Knowing that physically I cannot tolerate smoking much longer helps too!

We took our camcorder down to the basketball court and recorded ourselves playing basketball. Dot recorded LeRoy and I, and then I recorded Dot and LeRoy playing.

I am eating lemon drops like crazy. I am nibbling on toothpicks and sweets. But I am not smoking nor am I yearning to smoke. I am not smoking and I am happy about that!

Dot closed tonight at Shaws. So, I watched Alfred Hitchcock (Nickelodeon) for several hours waiting for Dot to get home at 11:30 PM.

Sunday - Day Thirteen!

I have decided to call this day thirteen! I slipped Saturday (10/27/90) but I got back up and now it’s been over a week since the slip. I hereby reclaim my right to call October 23, 1990 as my Quit Day.

Football and more football today. It made the day go by quickly. The Rams won finally. They are 3 and 5 now. The Raiders lost. They are 6 and 2. The 49ers are 8 and 0. I hope somebody comes along and knocks them off their high horse. All things must pass. Sooner or later they will fall apart. It may take years but look at what happened to the Steelers.

More candy. Still no smoking. I’m feeling a little better. I’m not light headed as much as I was. I feel almost like I have a normal emotional grip on things once more. Until now I felt broken free and drifting in a fog, seeing the world going by in the mist but unable to focus clearly on the events around me. I am not 100% back to normal but my feel for reality seems much clearer.

My digestive track has started to return to normal. I am finding myself going to the rest room more often as well, as water passes right through me.

I ran 3 miles and walked another mile today at the gym. I found that if I walk 1/2 mile before my run, as a warm up, and then another ½ mile at the end of my run, as a cool down, that it feels like I am only doing the run, but the Aerobic points count it all (over 17 points for today!)

Monday - Day Fourteen
Weight: 211

Yuk! Another Monday. It’s the second week of the course this week, and that is not my favorite part. But we got through the material this afternoon, and did troubleshooting in the evening, and got out about 8:30 PM.

In the morning I did the same run and walk as yesterday. (3 mile jog - 1 mile walk) but I also did the circuit weight training at position 3, ten reps per station: ALL STATIONS! Over 34 Aerobic points for the last 2 days alone.

I would love to see the Giants have a better record than the 49ers for the season. (They both are 8-0 right now.) Who knows? Maybe the Giants can dethrone the 49ers this year. If not, what I would love to see is the Raiders blowing the 49ers out in the Super Bowl! Then they would both have the same Super Bowl record (4-1).

Had two bowls of ice cream tonight after work and a bowl of cereal.

Tuesday - Day Fifteen
Weight: 211

Woke up early today (6:15 AM) and couldn’t get back to sleep.

Election Day today. William Weld (R) beat John Silber (D) for governor of Massachusetts.

Well, my brain is beginning to become accustomed to the lack of nicotine. I am a little more in focus. The fog is slowly lifting. Each day that goes by bring a little more clarity to the world around me. The cobwebs are slowly being cleared out of my brain. I am not right yet, but I getting closer each day.

Wednesday - Day Sixteen
Weight: 211

I have gained 15 pounds since starting my Quit program. Small price to pay for what I now have in my hands: freedom from smoking! I gained 11 pounds from October 18 to October 26. That’s a little more than a pound a day. Since October 26, I have gained 4 pounds: less than 1/3 pound per day. In fact, I weigh today exactly what I weighed the first day of this month, one week ago! Additionally, I would like to note that I weigh less today than I did one year ago, and I am not smoking!!!

I ran 3 miles and walked a fourth today. Then I did 10 reps for all stations of the circuit weight training on position 4! I felt tired but good!

Dot and I had a little disagreement tonight, but I came through it OK without smoking!