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by Al
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Okay, you've made up your mind! You
are going to do it. You are going to lose all of your excess weight this time.
No more fooling around, it is going to happen.
As you start out on each attempt to lose weight you tell yourself the same thing.
You want to lose weight. You really do, and then some nasty piece of stress
comes into your life, or maybe just a bit of boredom and the next thing you
know you have put a whole bag of potato chips, or cookies away to make yourself
feel better. And you actually do feel better for the short time that you are
actually eating them, but then you finally stop to think about what you have
done and the guilt sets in. However, guilt only makes you feel worse about yourself,
and you are now more likely to stumble again, because you feel like you are
helpless and worthless. You call yourself names, and feel like you are of no
value at all. Then you eat to try and cheer yourself up.
Now, we have all been there. That may not make you feel any better, but it does
help to put it into perspective. It tells you that you are not worthless because
of how you eat. It is important to understand that. We could spend a great deal
of time analyzing why society demands certain kinds of conformity. Being within
a certain range of weight is demanded by our society. Being a normal human being,
you want to fit in with the group. Who among us cannot remember the agony of
being different in school? For most school-aged kids, the primary goal was to
merely fit in and be one of the group, accepted and loved. Things are not so
different as adults, are they?
Do you remember the names kids had for all those who were different? Even the
most intelligent kids in school were called names like nerds, or geeks. The
ones on the other end of the intellectual spectrum faired no better. Those who
were too thin, too short, too tall, too clumsy, too acned, too slow of speech,
and a whole myriad of other differences were called cutting, burning names that
scarred the psyche as deeply as any knife could cut the flesh. As adults we
find that the weapons are often wielded in a more tactful manner, but they cut
just as deeply.
The snide comments about what is in your shopping cart as you wait in the check
out line buying your food. The comment some child makes to her mother, quickly
hushed, but still letting you know how that family really feels about someone
being overweight. The nasty stares, rude and hateful from total strangers. Does
it hurt any less today than it did in school? We would be lying if we said it
did.
Add to this the personal knowledge you have that being overweight is unhealthy.
People who carry excessive weight die young, their joints hurt and they can
seriously be injured from a very short fall. When you are carrying excess weight,
you know you don't look your best. Personally, you want to be thin.
With the whole world apparently against you, even yourself, is it any wonder
that we are overcome with guilt as we keep gaining weight, when we so desperately
want to lose? The merry-go-round spins faster and faster as guilt for being
heavy feeds our appetite to eat our way into covering those guilty feelings.
It seems that it can never end. But it can!
You can lose every excess pound you have on your body. Your success at doing
that relies upon what your target is. Just being unhappy enough to scream with
what your bathroom scale is telling you, is not enough. You can tolerate plenty
of such screams on those days when you are buried in depression, and feeling
bored, unhappy and sorry for yourself.
Many of the experts call it visualization. You picture yourself succeeding and
over time you actually do succeed. Every morning you wake up and you picture
in your mind how you are going face this day, and get through it on program,
and on track to being thin. But those are just words, unless you make them live
within you. You must have a fire in your soul, burning like a bonfire on a cold
night, leaping high into the air consuming all obstacles in your path. You must
have a target that is real to you. So, real that you can taste it as if it were
in your mouth right now, sweet, substantial and satisfying.
Why are you interested in losing weight? Is it for health reasons? It may be.
I read that being between 50 and 100 pounds overweight carries the same health
risk that a smoker has. If you smoke on top of that, you may be doubling your
risk of heart attack or stroke. It is a real concern. It may be your target,
if it moves you with passion. If not, it is a waste of time to think about because
you can always make excuses to put your worry to sleep.
Perhaps it is your selection in clothes. Those big and full figure shops do
not carry the same outfits that the petite miss shops next door do. You could
be wearing the latest fashions if only you could just lose that weight. That
just might be the target that fires your spirit. Or it may be ho hum to you.
You may want to put a smile on your husband's face or impress your friends.
You will of course, as the weight comes off, but is it enough? Does it fill
you with the fire you must have to succeed? Will it come forward for you, when
you are feeling weak and put upon, to do battle like a heroic knight, slaying
your temptations and laying success at your feet as a gift?
There must be something that you are aiming for, your target, that will get
you up in the morning and out to the gym, or the track, and make your body exercise
on the days when you could most easily talk yourself out of it. That same something
must drive you to plan your days and your meals so that you will be on program
each day. It is easy to choose a target that will get you through a day or two,
or even a month. You may lose quite a few pounds and then suddenly find yourself
struggling like a swimmer with a serious cramp. A few glubs later and you are
going down for the count, putting weight back on again.
Many people think it is very difficult to break a board with your fist. But
I found that to break a board with a punch is much easier than I originally
thought. It requires both focus, and aiming just beyond the board with your
fist. You believe in your mind that you can break the board. The first time
that takes faith, but after that, you know you can. You mentally focus, breathe
and strike. Then you watch the board fall in two pieces at your feet. It is
something that takes only a split second, but the lesson is just as true for
something that will take years to accomplish: weight loss. You must aim beyond
your goal weight. Your desire to succeed must include not only losing the weight
but, maintaining that loss for the rest of your life.
No two people are exactly alike. You must find your own source of fire. I wish
I could just hand it to you, and say, "Here you go, this will take you
to the finish line." But I can't. I don't know what will motivate you.
You are a special person, with your own spark of life, and your own wonderful
traits. You are unique in this world, a one of a kind, which makes you very
special. But it also makes you someone who must decide for yourself what your
target is. What will drive you to the top of the mountain, and into the future
version of yourself, slim and trim, and happy that you are?
Search out the answer to that question. Do not hurry and do not be shallow in
your thinking. Write down a list of every reason that you can think of as to
why you want to lose weight. Think about the items on the list. Are they really
important to you? Which of them really hits you where you live? To create a
fire that will burn not only hot, but also long, you must pick something that
will motivate you for the long haul.
Once you have identified what it is that will really fire your spirit, write
it down on a card, and put it somewhere where you can see it every day. Carry
it with you and read it often. Focus on it and picture in your mind hitting
that target squarely in the middle of the bull's eye. If you have a weak moment,
stop and read your target statement. Visualize hitting your target, and if you
have chosen your target well, you will find it much easier to stop your negative
thinking, and instead search out something positive to do with your time. If
you see yourself actually hitting your target often enough, you will come to
rightly believe that your only destiny lies upon a road where your target will
become your own reality. You can do this!
By Al, My Wonderful,
Supportive Husband
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Disclaimer - This page is not meant to be a substitute for any professional advice, guidance, or counseling. I am not
a doctor. Any information contained on my pages reflect my own experiences. It is not intended in any way to
serve as or take the place of medical advice from a physician.
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