November 10, 2010
Weigh-In, Wednesday, November 10
Dotti: 241.8 lbs [Starting Weight]
Total Lost [9.2 lbs before WW meetings]
Al: 219.5 pounds at Home
Dotti asked me to come up with a picture for her to use as motivation, showing where she is and where she wants to be. Here is what I put together for her.
I wanted to include not only appearances, but what Dotti is on the inside. Placing her hand upon her own hand symbolizes the kind heart and caring spirit that Dotti has always had for others, and now she can share that with herself as she works her way back down to goal.
What a beautiful sight, with Dotti smiling—some things never change!
Welcome to our Combined Journal.
Well, as Al so nicely put it, Here We Go!
Since making the decision to embark on this Joint Journey I have been Journaling faithfully and staying within my Points allowance for the day. Journaling is definitely one of the keys to continued success on your Program. I have lost 9.2 lbs from my starting weight to my first official weigh-in at Weight Watchers on Wednesday, November 10th.
Never look back, just forward, One Day at a Time.
I have been listening to my "Enjoying Weight Loss" hypnosis CDs again on a regular basis and I feel they are helping get my "head in the right place" to stay on my Journey. I listened to the "Eating Smart" and "Avoiding Temptation" hypnosis sessions this last week, which really helped me get through the week. I had two eating out experiences and handled them very well with no desire to go off Program. I have let my friends and family know I'm back on Program and staying there.
My medical conditions require me to lose this weight. My self-esteem requires me to lose this weight. My life itself requires me to lose this weight. My love for Al, LeRoy and all my friends requires me to lose this weight. For you see, if I don't lose this weight, I'll die sooner than need be and miss out on so much. I don't want that to happen.
Thank you all for being here with me on this Journey. We can do anything together, seeing each other through the daily struggles and successes on this Journey. I love and appreciate all of you.
One of my many reasons for staying on this Journey:
Al & Dotti ~ 2008
♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤ Dare to Dream ❤❤❤ Believe in Yourself ❤¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
Let's face it, I quit. No use dressing it up in something more attractive. I simply stopped paying attention, and once again tried to "wing it."
Dispassionately looking at it from before it started, I could have told myself that today I would be where I am, if I did what I was about to do. But I did it anyway. Look at this graph. (Click on the thumbnail for a larger version.)
I can't blame it on ignorance. I have done this before. I knew where this path would lead, and yet my feet trod along its sad course nonetheless.
I can't blame Dotti. Dotti has been struggling, and doing badly on her journey. Instead of just throwing up my hands and giving up myself, I should have worked towards helping her more. But I didn't. I cut the line and set off on the river that always runs towards weight gain. I threw away my paddle and my brains it seems, as well. And the graph tells you what happened.
Well the water is over the dam, as they say, and no point in worry myself about it, other than to hopefully gain a bit of wisdom for the future. Note to self: Please Al, would you pay attention this time!
Frankly, I am scared. I can see where we are going to end up, and not all that far off in the distance, if we continue on the path that we have been walking. For Dotti, walking itself has become difficult, and on some days nearly impossible. This horrifies me because, you see, Dotti is a free spirit. She can't be caged that way, or she will die. She has to be able to move, and I refuse to accept anything else. Our choices must be ones that lead us towards health and our commitment is to do just that. Whatever we have to do, we will do it.
On November 3rd, Dotti weighed at the Doctor's office and it was the largest number we have seen for her weight ever. She was in for the problem she has with her hips, both of them. Of course painful hips and her weight are directly connected. Things have gotten worse and worse as time has gone by, and the cliff's edge appears very near indeed.
Fear is a great motivator. Sometimes it is all that will work. I know that medical issues had a lot to do with providing the motivation I found to finally quit smoking.
So be it. If fear is what it takes, then we have what it takes, and we are now ready to move forward towards a new and better life.
I know it is very, very early yet, but judging from what has happened this week, we are on track. On the second of November, I weighed 226.0 pounds. (BMI 28) If you have watched my Journey over the years since I started back on May 12, 2001, you know that this weight indicates that I have wandered far afield from where I should be.
BMI is a pretty good indicator of where your weight is at,
as it relates to your health.
|Over 40||Very Obese|
|30 - 40||Obese|
|25 - 30||Overweight|
|19 - 25||Normal|
In 2001, when I applied myself, and worked the program, I moved my weight down from around 240 (BMI 30), all the way down to 185 (BMI 23), with hardly any real trouble at all:
Weight Loss Phase in 2001
So, here I found myself, high up into the Overweight category and pushing back up towards "Obese." And what does obesity have to offer me? Is eating what I want, when I want it, worth bad joints, bad health, and a shortened life? Logically, that is an absurd question, but alas, this is not entirely, or even mostly a study in logic. Else, there would never have been a problem.
Dotti's BMI had climbed up over 42, and that was even more troubling. How can I help her, if I can't get my own attitude right? Clearly I can't. I have to have a positive attitude, if I am going to share it.
Once I had my weight where I wanted it, in 2001, I then had a pretty good run of holding my weight where I wanted it to be for several years:
Maintenance Graph For 2002
Maintenance Graph For 2003
Maintenance Graph For 2004
Maintenance Graph For 2005
Right near the end of 2005, I felt just a small crack in the shell of protection surrounding my journey. But it was a little bump that seemed to settle back down.
Maintenance Graph For 2006
In 2006, Dotti was losing weight and it looked like she had finally beaten the smoking habit completely and would return to goal. I was very excited about it!
Along about June of 2006, things began to sputter for both Dotti and me. For myself, I developed a back problem that has never left me since, and that has brought on pain meds, and perhaps that was a bit of dirt in the gears. I don't know for sure what happened, but since then my Journey has been far more difficult for me.
I tried to adjust my target weight in 2006, to compensate for my difficulties, since I had some room above where my weight had been that was still in the Normal range for my height.
But alas, that only allowed me to creep over the top of my Normal Range, and therein began a battle that I am still fighting.
Maintenance Graph For 2007
In 2007, I struggled up in the Overweight range most of the year, but pulled my weight back into the Normal Range by the end.
Maintenance Graph For 2008
But the battle continued in 2008, with most of the year being in the Overweight range, just once again pulling it back to Normal at the end of the year.
Maintenance Graph For 2009
In 2009, I only just touched on the top of my Normal Range at the start, and then snuck into again at the end.
Maintenance Graph For 2010
And then in 2010, I started off looking a bit better, reaching April, staying in the Normal range the entire way. Then the wheels came off the wagon once more. Now it looks quite unlikely that I shall see the Normal Range again this year.
Perhaps, the moral of this story is that success will take my best efforts every day for the rest of my life. If so, then I will have to fortify myself with a wall marking my limits and aiming to remain within the wall, above all else.
For exercise, it hasn't been my best year, but I have walked 364 miles so far, and this is something. I walked 7.8 miles this week. On Saturday (November 6) I hit about 200 baseballs in the batting cage. I even had one of my best days in the 70 mph batting cage. On Wednesday I walked the nearly 5 miles from the mall to our house, including the 400-foot elevation increase that path has.
I lost my focus on what I was doing. I had a wake up call, and I am back to doing what I know I should be doing. I am a firm believer in the laws of physics, and when you do what you should in the area of eating and exercise, you get the results you want.