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Do Or Die
by Al Coon
From Dotti's Newsletter Issue 107
November 11, 2010
Thirteen years ago this month, in 1997, Dotti and I weighed about the same, with Dotti at 245 and I was 240. We went to McDonalds regularly, and we did other things that helped maintain our weights at that level. Dotti's back was causing her problems, and she had fallen in the summer of 1997 and separated her ribs playing kickball at a family outing. I had no reason at all to think anything would ever change when Thanksgiving of 1997 approached. I had accepted the inevitable. I personally had struggled a number of times to lose weight but any losses were temporary and the weight came back on each and every time. Dotti had tried over and over again to lose weight with disheartening results.
Both of us were so beaten down by failure that I thought we were locked in to dying as overweight people, and at a young age. But Dotti surprised us! Something happened around Thanksgiving time of 1997, and Dotti set off on a Journey that still impacts our lives each and every day.
Dotti's weight fell from 245 down to 138 by the end of the summer of 1998. By Thanksgiving a dozen years ago, I was the most surprised man on the planet. There was no way I expected that to happen. It was like a miracle. But the miracle had only just begun.
There was another miracle brewing in 1998, which was to be something wonderful, and far-reaching beyond our wildest dreams: Dotti's Weight Loss Zone was created by Dotti.
Things were wonderful! Dotti's back problems evaporated. She was full of energy and seemed excited about waking up each morning. It was a happy experience just watching the changes in my wonderful wife! But I still didn't believe it. Sure, she lost the weight, and that was amazing, but she had been thin before, and then put it all back on. I only gave it a few months in my mind, and then it would be over. But I was wrong!
When Thanksgiving of 1999 came to greet us, Dotti was still at goal. The same was true when Thanksgiving of 2000 came along.
In April of 2001, Dotti had her first Dotti's Weight Loss Zone conference. It was incredible! Many wonderful people showed up to visit with Dotti, and each other, and they even included me in their circle, even though I was still just an observer, watching Dotti, and sitting around 240 pounds. I had been watching the miracle occur, without having it rub off on me.
By Thanksgiving of 2001, I was a believer. Dotti was going on and on at goal and it seemed effortless for her. I had finally been caught up in her whirlwind of success and started my own Journey, but none of that would have happened, ever, if not for Dotti and all she had done already.
In the year 2002, a few roadblocks came up, which finally led to serious problems. In February, not long before Dotti's Weight Loss Zone conference #2, Dotti took a fall, that injured her knee. It didn't seem all that bad at first, but as time went on, it didn't improve, and it continued to cause pain. By the summer, she was using a cane regularly and finally in August she had surgery, where they removed 15% of her cartilage meniscus.
While the lack of exercise in 2002 had been a problem, the biggest thing that happened that year occurred in May, when Dotti quit smoking. From that point on, things started to come apart for her weight loss Journey. She has not had a cigarette since May of 2002, and that is great! But the cost has been very high.
On the upside, the knee surgery had worked! The pain was gone, and in 2003 we decided to work towards increasing our exercise level. We did a number of hikes that summer (I documented eighteen of our 2003 hikes on our Coon Family Hiking Club page), and some of the hikes were quite strenuous. Had we found a substitute for the smoking?
In 2004, the wheels started coming off the wagon in earnest. In our close family, we had two deaths occur, and a near death as well, and since then, Dotti's weight has crept up and up over time. There have been some bright spots and some dark days, but today we find ourselves back where we were in 1997 once more. At the doctor's office a couple of weeks back, Dotti's weight was about 250. She is having terrible pain in both of her hips, and her back is hurting once more as well.
For myself, watching Dotti having such trouble pulled the wind out of my own sails. Also, personal issues, such as my Mom having Alzheimer's haven't helped a bit on keeping my focus on my Journey. I was up to 223 pounds about the time of Dotti's doctor's visit.
So, here we were, standing at a crossroads. We could continue with what we were doing, and fade into life as invalids, and suffering all the many afflictions of being overweight, or we could take this bull by the horns and create the lifestyle we need to be healthy and very active once more.
My thought was, "I have to save Dotti's life!" This is a naturally active woman, who loves life, and enjoys activities that are outdoors, vigorous, and exciting. Hiking up a mountainside is something she loves to do. Riding wild rides at amusement parks is just her "cup of tea." Being stuck in a wheelchair, and not being able to move freely will kill her, literally.
You must understand that Dotti is the center of my universe. She literally is my reason to get up in the morning, and things I do are important to me, because she shares them with me. For me, if anything happened to Dotti, it would be like living in the deepest part of Carlsbad Caverns, and having someone turn out the lights forever. I cannot let this happen as long as I am breathing.
So, we sat down and discussed our situation, and we came to a decision: this is a fight for our very lives, and we are not going to give up the ship. From that day forward, we made a commitment to focus upon our health before anything else. We will eat right, and we will start to exercise as much as possible. Whatever we have to do, it is what we WILL DO.
We have lived by that commitment for a couple of weeks now, and of course the results have been good. If you do what you are supposed to do, the results are always good.
For starters, Dotti has two bad hips, and so she can't do much exercise. About a week ago, Dotti had a horror show of an MRI hip study, where they tied her feet together in a position that put pressure on her hip in a way that cause excruciating pain. The technician wouldn't listen to her, and tried to proceed anyway. Of course it didn't work, and Dotti finally was able to abort the try.
When Dotti staggered out of the hallway from the MRI room, leaning on her cane, with tears running down her cheeks, she looked as if she had been physically beaten up! We were all of the way home, and I had her settled into a comfy chair for a while before she started to recover from the experience. (I don't know why someone like that technician would go into the medical profession, when she really doesn't seem to care about people.)
We feel that the hip problem will be resolved in a positive way. Yesterday, Dotti was able to complete the MRI with sedation, and with the help of a much nicer technician, and she is seeing a well recommended hip specialist this month, and we have high hopes of this having a happy ending, even if it requires surgery.
In the meantime, Dotti has still lost ten pounds, just by changing her eating habits, and I have lost 5 as well. Over the next few months, we hope to have positive things to report to you in this joint weekly journal each Saturday, where you can check up on our progress.
Something that is very different about this commitment from the one Dotti made in 1997, is that it is not just a sudden inspiration from some unknown source. This is rooted in knowledge that we are fighting for our lives, and it is Do Or Die. Either we make these changes or the lights go out. Also, it is a joint commitment this time, because Dotti and I are in this together. We are doing it for ourselves, and for each other.
By this time next year, I firmly believe that both Dotti and I will be at goal, and we will be doing a tremendous amount of walking together. Hikes in the woods, and walks around our neighborhood and around the city of Spokane are going to be the norm. We will be eating not only fewer calories, but better calories, and we will be feeling better than we have felt in many years.
This is our commitment: we have already made it, and we have already started reaping some small benefits, even in this short time. We have both reach goal before, and so it is not a question of knowledge holding us back, but only a question of commitment. Now the commitment is here, the passing of time is all that is required to see the results.
It is sad, but it is human nature, that we waited until it got so bad we couldn't ignore it. We are up against the wall, and it is do or die. Dotti and I have chosen to Do rather than to Die. While this commitment is overdue, it is not too late!
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