Diet Adlibs *There's no use going on a diet if you have to starve to death to live longer. *New diet food comes in cans. You open it and there's nothing in it. *No wonder she's fat. She claims eating makes her hungry. *She is allowed to eat all she wants of anything she doesn't like. *She went on a banana diet. Now she looks like one. *Here's a new diet. You can eat all you want - steaks, spaghetti, ice cream - but only with chopsticks. *As soon as she went on a diet, her stock went down and her weight went up. *Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it. *She skips breakfast and luncheon, then spends the day nunchin'. *When she went on a diet, the first thing she lost was her temper. *It's not difficult to diet these days. Just eat what you can afford. *An onion builds you up physically and tears you down socially. *You can't eat your cake and diet too. *She lost ten pounds lately. She is now on a low salary diet. *The best reducing plan is to keep your mouth and the refrigerator shut. *Dieting is a trying time when you stop eating food and start eating calories. *The trouble with reducing is that it calls for less food and your appetite calls for more. *She takes her reducing pill twice a day in a chocolate malt. *She won't eat anything that starts with the letter Z. *They now have a new diet - watch your food! You don't taste it, you just watch it! *Whenever my wife goes on a new diet, all she loses is her sense of humor. *I'd go on a diet, but I happen to be a poor loser. *She now has a raw diet. She eats her breakfast raw, her lunch raw, but for dinner she puts on some clothes. *By the time you're making enough money to afford sugar, your doctor says you can't have it. *For lunch I had a large pizza with sausage, pepperoni and extra cheese. And then a diet cola. *The toughest part of dieting isn't watching what you eat; it's watching what your friends eat. *A health addict is one who eats health food so he won't ruin his health and have to eat health food. *Everything is relative: a two-week vacation never seems as long as two weeks on a diet. *The new reducing salon is called Thinner Sanctum. *The best place for the bathroom scale is in front of your refrigerator. *I bought a reducing machine. Now I'm starving to death to keep up the payments. *It took a lot of will power, but finally I gave up trying to diet. *More diets begin in dress shops than in doctor's offices. *Calories don't count - they multiply! *You should watch your diet - not eat it! |