Week 158 Update

It was 06:10 in Tiller, Oregon when I stepped on Mr. Scale and he said, "185.0 pounds!"

Oh my what a week. I hope I don’t have another like it for a very long time.

On Saturday morning the ICU doctor gave my mom and me the situation straight from the shoulder, and it was not good. We had a family meeting that evening, which included two of Jim’s sons and it was decided that 2 weeks of intense treatment, with no positive results, were enough. Jim was being kept alive on life support, and he had specifically requested that he not be. The doctor said it was his professional opinion that Jim was not going to recover, no matter what we did, and to continue treatment they would have to perform some major procedures.

On Sunday morning I was present when they removed life support, and Jim expired. I cannot share the details of that private experience here, but it was something that I will never forget.

From that point, the emphasis shifted from worry about Jim, to worry about Mom. She had to face the loss of a man that she had been with for 24 hours a day since they had both retired in 1986, and it was not something that would come easy for her. Dotti and I had already decided to stay with her through the next weekend, to try and help her get past the first few days. And this week has gone past at light speed.

Monday we went to the funeral home to complete the arrangements for the funeral that was set for Wednesday. Afterwards we went to the florist shop to arrange for the flowers.

Tuesday, Dotti and I drove Jim’s clothes in to the funeral home, so he could be buried in the clothes that Mom had selected for him. We later met with the pastor to go over the funeral content. That night Mom, Dotti and I each worked on a different aspect of the funeral. Mom wrote up a thumbnail sketch of Jim’s life, which I read at the funeral. Dotti created the brochure that was handed out to all attendees of the funeral, with the program content and some pictures of Jim. I scanned in 60 pictures, and put labels on many of them, to be presented as a memorial slideshow. We were up working on these things until well after midnight.

Wednesday was the funeral, and it was held in the church on the campus of my old high school. The day was one that was so filled up with events that I can hardly separate them out. Helping the pastor prepare the material for the funeral service, waiting for the casket to arrive past the time it was scheduled to be there, the service itself, meeting so many people, listening to personal experiences that others had had with Jim, assisting as a pall bearer, comforting Mom, gathering with the family for lunch on campus, gathering again at Mom’s home with a smaller family group, and finally collapsing onto a mattress on the floor, that we moved to for the night, to allow Jim’s sister and her husband to sleep in the guest bed. Could all of that have happened in only one day?

Thursday morning we went to the VA cemetery, and had a short memorial service there. We said our final goodbyes to Jim, and watched them place him into the ground. When they played taps, it was for me one of the most emotionally loaded moments of the experience. That song means so much to a military man. It is tied up with day’s end and life’s end in a complex way. The flag on the pole outside of the pavilion, where the service was held, was at half-mast. They folded the flag that was draped over Jim's coffin, and I watched my Mom receive such a flag for the second time. The memories of my fathers death 31 years ago, where she received the first one, were fresh within me all week long. Afterwards, many of us went to one of Jim’s favorite restaurants: Hometown Buffet. We took a long time to eat our meal, as we visited and shared our thoughts and feelings. After the group split up, Mom needed a few items, since she hadn’t been home in weeks for two days in a row, and we went to Costco before heading home. Town is an hour away from her house, and making another trip the next day needed to be avoided. As we were walking around, I commented to LeRoy that I was far more tired that very minute than I had been at the end of the Bloomsday walk. At that moment, that fun event that we had participated in, seemed like it had been an age ago.

Friday, all day we spent at Mom’s home. We got some things done, and mostly tried to get our emotional ships righted as much as possible.

Eating and weight – Since I started my weight control journey, this week was the closest that I have come to just cutting loose and forgetting about the whole thing for a few days. It was the first time that I found journaling to be a burden rather than just a daily routine task. That was especially true on the day of the funeral. During the meal afterwards, I just didn’t worry about how much I was eating. I wasn’t much better the day of the burial. Somehow the scale didn’t punish me for the way I ate, but I was definitely eating too much of the wrong kinds of things.

Saturday I had weighed-in at 183.5, in Roseburg. We had lunch at Elmers and I ate 25.5 points. In the afternoon my cousin and his wife brought a hot meal from home for us to eat in the motel room (11 points), and it was very much appreciated, and helped to sustain us through the tough evening we faced. By the end of the day I had consumed 51.5 points.

Sunday, I weighed 184.5. I grabbed a quick breakfast of cereal and milk before heading over to the hospital. We knew this was going to be a very tough day. Jim passed away just before 1 PM, and we spent several hours in the ICU waiting room visiting with family and friends. The funeral home took Jim’s body and still we stayed on. When we left, we decided to go to the Sizzler restaurant to eat. It was sort of a lunch and dinner combined, since it was so late. I ate 28 points. I had eaten some snacks throughout the day, and by day’s end I was up to 53.0 points.

Monday I weighed 184.0 pounds. We had our sad errands to run that day. We stopped at a Mexican restaurant for lunch (23.0 points). The other meals were caught on the fly as we could find the time. I ate 47.0 points total.

Tuesday I weight 184.5 pounds. Dotti and I had to run to town and we caught lunch at the same restaurant that we had eaten in the day before. Since I ate the same things, I once again used up 23.0 points. I ate 54.0 points for the day.

Wednesday I weighed 184.5 again. At lunch I ate a full plate of food and then went for dessert and then went back for more. I ate 49.5 points by the end of the meal. By the end of the day I had eaten 68.0 points.

Thursday, surprisingly I still weighed 184.5. After the burial we went to Hometown Buffet, and I ate, and ate. In my journal I had to use up all of the item lines for lunch as well as 6 lines of my snack column, just to list everything. It all totaled up to 43.5 points. Then in the evening I had my dinner followed by Maple Nut ice cream and a very rich apple pie. By the end of the day I had eaten more points than on any other day of my journey: 87.0. I wasn’t looking forward to what Mr. Scale would say on the morrow. Dotti said I was going to lose.

Friday I weighed 184.0. Go figure. We stayed at home all day, and LeRoy headed back home in the late afternoon. I snacked and nibbled throughout the day, and had some more of that ice cream and apple pie. Mom cooked up some delicious potato soup for dinner, which we had late in the evening. I ended up eating a total of 49.0 points for the day, leading to my weigh-in this morning of 185.0.

Exercise – It was a very bad week for exercise. I only walked on one day, and that was for only 1.15 miles. It was good for a couple of aerobic points. It certainly leaves much room for improvement next week.

Water – I didn’t quite get my water in this week. I did drink 6 cups or more on most of the days, but I blew it on 2 of the days, and I only averaged 43.43 ounces (5.4 cups) each day which is below my minimum goal of 6-8 cups per day.

Week's evaluation – My one success this week was that my weight remained within my target range, and today I was right on my target weight. For exercise I didn’t come close to any of my goals. For water I was close, but still below my goal. Still, considering what was going on this week I am very satisfied with the results that I achieved, and I will look forward to this week with hopes of doing much better.

3 years, 11 days OP; a lifetime to follow.

-Al-

6 '3" 239.5/185.0/180±2/BMI:23.12/WK-158
GRAPHS: Weight Loss/Year 1 Maint./Year 2 Maint./Year 3 Maint.
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